queenlyzard

OK, so while I can still think straight I'm going to try and get this entry down, which I've been meaning to for ages.

A few caveats before you read:

1) This involves sociological musing about gender relations and violence. May be triggering for some of you.

2) These are still ideas-in-progress. I request that you give constructive criticism only-- I'm not up to dealing with attacks.

3) I'm going to make a lot of statements about Men and Women. Please assume that each one is followed up by "in general/on average" and "in my experience/to the best of my knowledge." If you feel I'm wrong about something, by all means, do tell me and explain why. But do not come to me with the line "Well, I'm a man/woman and I don't feel that way...."

Example: I may say that men are taller than women. I mean on average, not in every case, and possibly not even in every ethnic group. My observations may or may not be backed up by any studies-- I won't quote any studies here, not least of all because it can be awfully hard to find the "science" in "social sciences." Granted, some of my knowledge comes from books about primate behavior... but most of it is from my own observations of life.

4) Need I mention also that it may contain NSFW language? Many of my posts do...

5) Oh, and, it will probably be Long.

OK, you have been warned :)


( you read the caveats, right? )

*** 1220) "Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates" by Tom Robbins

In spite of my longstanding love of Robbins, it took me a while to get into this book. I often have the same problem with Vonnegut, for some reason. But in the end, as always, I loved it. Robbins has such an excellent grasp of how to mingle the absurd with a realistic story until you have trouble remembering which bits should be hard to believe. And somehow, the most ridiculous parts are always the most true to human nature.

Quotes:

"Silence is a mirror. So faithful, and yet so unexpected, is the reflection it can throw back at men that they will go to almost any length to avoid seeing themselves in it..." 234

"[America is] an 'abusive democracy,' one in which everybody wants to control everybody else. Lately, even tolerance, itself, has been usurped by the sanctimonious and the opportunistic, and turned into an instrument for intimidation, bullying, and extortion." 258

An interesting sociological observation:

" [Skeeter Washington said] '...I fail to detect where they be a hell of a lot of /difference/ between the terms 'colored people' and 'people of color.' Or between ''Afro-American' and 'African-America,' far as that goes.'
'The distinctions are subtle, all right,' Switters admitted. 'Too subtle for the rational mind. Only the political mind can grasp them. I suspect there's a bid for empowerment behind it all, the power going to whoever seizes the right to coin the names. In a reality made of language, the people who get to name things have psychological ownership of those things.'" 211

Switters: "'Politics is where people pay somebody large sums of money to impose his or her will on them. Politics is sadomasochism.' "
Also, he says "Terrorism is the only imaginable logical response to America's foreign policy, just as street crime is the only imaginable logical response to America's drug policy." 394

I had to copy this following passage down (ok, most of it, anyway... I did elide quite a few bits) because it has so much in it that is very astute, although I think it could also be very easily problematic if taken too seriously as an over-generalization. All in all, though, it is an excellent explanation of how situational depression can turn into purely biochemical depression. Although I'm not sure I agree with her assessment (not included here) that the best way to save someone from this fate is to make fun of them until they learn to make fun of themselves!

Maestra: "'All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously...
For most people, self-awareness and self-pity blossom simultaneously in early adolescence. It's about that time that we start viewing the world as something other than a whoop-de-doo playground, we start to experience personally how threatening it can be, how cruel and unjust. At the very moment when we become, for the first time, both introspective and socially conscious, we receive the bad news that the world, by and large, doesn't give a rat's ass. Even an old tomato like me can recall how painful, scary, and disillusioning that realization was. So, there's a tendency, then, to slip into rage and self-pity, which, if indulged, can fester into bouts of depression...
"then depression can become a neurological habit....
"Gradually, our brain chemistry becomes conditioned to react to negative stimuli in a particular, predictable way...
"Once depression has become electronically integrated, it can be extremely difficult to philosophically or psychologically override it...'" 44-5

Dr. Ramachandran takes you on a magical mystery tour into the brain.  Is this guy awesome or what?

**** 1174) "The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog: And other stories from a child psychiatrist's notebook: what traumatized children can teach us about love, loss, and healing" by Bruce Perry

Not an easy book to read, but it ought to be required for anyone who works with children, people, and trauma/abuse victims of any kind. The carefully-analyzed case studies in this book are fascinating, insightful, and not overly hyped or simplified. Beyond that, I'll let it speak for itself. Favorite quotes in bold.

"I do not believe in 'the abuse excuse' for violent or hurtful behavior, but I have found that there are complex interactions beginning in early childhood that affect our ability to envision choices and that may later limit our ability to make the best decisions."

"Biology isn't just genes playing out some unalterable script. It is sensitive to the world around it..."

"...the stress-response systems are among only a handful of neural systems in the brain that, if poorly regulated or abnormal, can cause dysfunction in all four of the main brain areas..."

"It's important to understand that our default is set at suspicion, not acceptance." (regarding any kind of new stimuli)

"While not all ADD, hyperactivity and oppositional-defiant disorder are trauma-related, it is likely that the symptoms that lead to these diagnoses are trauma-related more often than anyone has begun to suspect."

"Our bodies and especially our brains are built to magnify practically imperceptible initial incongruities into massively differentiated results."

"Fortunately, the virtuous cycle is every bit as cascading and self-amplifying as the vicious cycle."  (eg, praise at the right moment can spark interest, resulting in modest potential flowering to fullest extent.)

"The key to healthy development is getting the right experiences in the right amounts at the right time."

"If you're planning for consequences, in some sense, you are empathizing with your 'future self.' " (Empathy relates to impulse-control)

"Humans are social animals, highly susceptible to emotional contagion. Training, logic and intelligence are often no match for the power of group-think."

"...'trained intuition' is a large part of what distinguishes experts from amateurs in most fields. We don't always consciously what what it is that doesn't fit, but somewhere our brain recognizes that part of the puzzle is missing, and it sends up a signal that something's askew. (This 'gut feeling' is actually a low-level activation of the stress response system, which is acutely attuned to combinations of incoming signals that are out of context or novel.)"

"What maltreated and traumatized children most need is a healthy community to buffer the pain, distress and loss caused by their earlier trauma. What works to heal them is anything that increases the number and quality of a child's relationships. What helps is consistent, patient, repetitive loving care. And, I should add, what doesn't work is well-intended but poorly trained mental health 'professional' rushing in after a traumatic event, or coercing children to 'open up' or 'get out their anger.' "

"As technology has advanced, we have gotten farther and farther away from the environment for which evolution shaped us. The world we live in now is biologically disprespectful; it does not take into account many of our most basic human needs... For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that 'unless you love yourself, no one else will love you'... The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation."

*** 1154) "On Being Certain: Believing You Are Right Even When You're Not" by Robert Burton

This was downright brilliant-- or if not brilliant, at least Very Important. I cannot recommend it highly enough. The book explains, on a biological level, why we think the way we think-- and, most importantly, why we're /sure/ we're right. Mind-opening when it comes to the science of belief, and indispensable for anyone who wants to go into any psychology, sociology, or cognitive fields... or just wants to understand a little bit more about People. I will now let the book speak for itself.

[NB: I tend to put all quotes in italics for easy identification. words emphasized in the original text are enclosed within /backslashes/. Bold is my own emphasis]

"It is through extreme examples of brain malfunction that neurologists painstakingly explore how the brain works under normal circumstances."

"Despite how certainty feels, it is neither a conscious choice nor even a thought process. Certainty and similar states of 'knowing what we know' arise out of involuntary brain mechanism that, like love or anger, function independently of reason." ** This was basically the entire premise of the book.

"My goal is to strip away the power of certainty by exposing its involuntary neurological roots. If science can same us into questioning the nature of conviction, we might develop some degree of tolerance and an increased willingness to consider alternative ideas" Yes, that!

"I cannot help wondering if an educational system that promotes black or white and yes or no answers might be affecting how [neurological] reward systems develop in our youth. If the fundamental thrust of education is 'being correct' rather than acquiring a thoughtful awareness of ambiguities, inconsistencies, and underlying paradoxes, it is easy to see how the brain reward systems might be molded to prefer certainty over open-mindedness." Oh, yeah, it's kinda obvious now that you mention it. No wonder America's youth are doing so poorly.

"The /feeling of knowing/, the reward for both proven and unproven thoughts, is learning's best friend, and mental flexibility's worst enemy."

"Any concept of free will assumes that we possess a portion of mind that can rise above the biological processes that generated it." Well, that's a bit of a mind-fuck.

"We have no mechanism for establishing the accuracy of a line of reasoning until it has produced a testable idea."

"All thoughts-- the trivial, the brilliant, the mundane, the profound, the catastrophic, and truly dangerous-- percolate up from the unconscious (the hidden layer). The issue isn't whether or not unconscious thoughts can be of great value, but in sorting out those that are from those that aren't."

" 'Objectivity cannot be equated with mental blankness; rather, objectivity resides in recognizing your preferences and then subjecting them to especially harsh scrutiny.' " - S. J. Gould

"Our mental limitations prevent us from accepting our mental limitations." Yup!!

"...it is impossible to overlook the shared qualities of the /feeling of knowing/, a /sense of faith/, and feelings of /purpose/ and /meaning/."

"...the sense of purpose... carefully weighs all inputs, positively weighting those ideas that /feel right/ while negatively weighting those that fell /wrong, strange/, or/unreal/. The best that a rational argument can accomplish is to add one more input to this cognitive stew. If it resonates deeply enough, change of opinion might occur. But this is a low probability uphill battle; the best of arguments is only one pitted against a lifetime of acquired experience and biological tendencies operating outside of conscious control. To expect well-reasoned arguments to easily alter personal expressions of purpose is to misunderstand the biology of belief." And that, my friends, in a nutshell, is why it's so hard to change people's minds.

"The belief that we can rationally determine the difference between purpose and pointlessness arises out of a misunderstanding of the nature of purpose."

"If science is to carry on a meaningful dialog with religion, it must work to establish a level playing field where both sides honestly address what we can and cannot know about ourselves and the world around us... And we must factor in that irrational beliefs can have real adaptive benefits-- from the placebo effect to a sense of hope. Insistence upon objectivity and reason should be seen within a larger picture of our biological needs and constraints."

*** 1145) "The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness" by Elyn Saks.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough, and it was a large part of my inspiration to write both my final paper and final speech this semester on mental illness. It's the story of a very bright woman who struggles with schizophrenia for many years before getting it under control... and then is nice enough to share her story with the rest of us. In fact, I don't know how else to recommend it except to give you some actual quotes. Oh, and you can see a speech of hers here: http://mylaw.usc.edu/blog/index.cfm

"...I'd been taught all my life: Intelligence, combined with discipline, could overcome any challenge. And mostly, that belief had served me well. The problem was, it assumed that the intelligence at hand was fully functioning, fully capable-- but I'd been told by experts that my brain had serious problems. Was my brain the same thing as my mind? Could I hang onto the one while conceding that there was a big flaw in the other?" (183-4)

On a similar note: "The fundamental flaw in all this, though, is that it neglects something intrinsic to the complex real world and to complex real human beings. In fact, it is /not/ necessarily true that everything can be conquered by willpower. There are forces of nature and circumstance that are beyond our control, let alone our understanding, and to insist on victory in the face of this, to accept nothing less, is just asking for a soul-pummeling. The simple truth is, not every fight can be won." (32) Yes, yes, and thank you, yes.


On the nature of psychosis:

"Philosophy and psychosis have more in common than many people (philosophers especially) might care to admit.... each is governed by very strict rules. The trick is to discover what those rules are, and in both cases, that inquiry takes place almost solely inside one's head." 40

"Psychosis is like an insidious infection that nevertheless leaves some of your faculties intact; in a psychiatric hospital, for example, even the most debilitated schizophrenic patients show up on time for meals, and they evacuate the ward when the fire alarm goes off." (98-99)

"Psychosis does traumatize you, much in the same way that ducking gunfire in a war zone or having a terrible car crash traumatizes you. And the best way to take away the power of trauma is to talk about what happened." (289)


On treatment:

"Stigma against mental illness is a scourge with many faces, and the medical community wears a number of those faces." (232)

On the vast and disturbing differences between the treatment she received in America and England (did you know they don't use restraints in England? They actually treat mental patients like, you know, people) "Part of the problem was that I was behaving like a patient in psychoanalysis. When Mrs. Jones and I were working together, I was encouraged to say exactly what was on my mind, always, no matter how crazy it sounded-- that was how analysis worked. That was the /point/. Otherwise, how would she know what was going on inside me? But the people at MU10 didn't want to know. If they couldn't tolerate what was in my head, why were any of them in this business? When my Scrambled thinking revealed itself, they put me in the hospital version of "time out' [restraints]. Where was the 'treatment' in this? Were they wanting to help me get better, or did they just want me to be socially appropriate?" (161)

"While medication had kept me alive, it had been psychoanalysis that had helped me find a life worth living." (298)

"This is a classic bind for psychiatric patients. They're struggling with thoughts of wanting to hurt themselves or others, and at the same time, they desperately need the help of those they're threatening to harm. The conundrum: Say what's on your mind and there'll be consequences; struggle to keep the delusions to yourself, and it's likely you won't get the help you need." (161-2)

"More than anything, I wanted to be healthy and whole; I wanted to exist in the world as my /authentic self/-- and I deeply believed that the drugs undermined that. And so I kept backing away from them, tinkering with the dosage, seeing how far I could go before I got burned. And of course, I got burned every time-- even in my denial, I knew that." (245)


on being defined by your illness "But if, as our society seemed to suggest, good health was partly mind over matter, what hope did someone with a broken mind have?" (255)

"'Crazy people' don't make the evening news for successfully managing their lives; we only hear about them when something horrible happens." (289)

Concluding quote:
"If you are a person with mental illness, the challenge is to find the life that's right for you. But in truth, isn't that the challenge for all of us, mentally ill or not?" (336)

{1123-24}

I shall drown beneath a sea of books.


1123) ** "The Case of the Frozen Addicts" by J. William Langston and Jon Palfreman

This one was damn hard to put down. A medical mystery so thrilling it's hard to believe it was for real. When a handful of drug users got hold of a bad batch of drugs in the 1980s, they came down with a sudden, bizarre, and crippling condition that looked disturbingly like end-stage Parkinson's. Originally dismissed as a fluke, they luckily came to the attention of medical researchers, who started to untangle the complex circumstances leading to their condition. These researchers fought to do groundbreaking work with stem-cell research that provides incredible hope for Parkinson's sufferers. Just amazing stuff.

I also really need to look into the history of the Human Fetal-Tissue Transplant Research Panel, which was held at the NIH, in October, 1988. The authors write of that meeting:

"The atmosphere in the room was explosive. Intelligent men and women who had considered all the rational arguments in good faith were still divided by convictions that they felt passionately." Ultimately, though, and distressingly, the decisions made by that panel wound up having very little effect on America's stem-cell research policies.


1124) ** "Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness" by William Styron

This brief book should be, at the very least, required reading for anyone going into the mental health professions. In simple, eloquent terms, Styron describes the attack of major depression which descended upon him in his 60s and nearly drove him to suicide. I share some of those words with you now:

"Depression is a disorder of mood, so mysteriously painful and elusive in the way it becomes known to the self-- to the mediating intellect-- as to verge close to being beyond description." 7

"I was feeling in my mind a sensation close to, but indescribably different from, actual pain" 16

"Depression is much too complex in its cause, its symptoms and its treatment for unqualified conclusions to be drawn from the experience of a single individual." 34

"...mysteriously, and in way that are totally remote from normal experience, the grey drizzle of horror induced by depression takes on the quality of physical pain." 50

"...the acute sense of loss is connected with a knowledge of life slipping away at accelerated speed.  One develops fierce attachments.  Ludicrous things-- my reading glasses, a handkerchief, a certain writing instrument-- became the objects of my demented possessiveness.  Each momentary misplacement filled me with a frenzied dismay, each item being the tactile reminder of a world soon to be obliterated." 57


I'm going to try making these entries shorter, in the hopes that more of you will bother to read them. Have no doubts: I have many more books to list.

Ok, so the other day at work I just couldn't stand our Psychology section anymore because it was a gigantic and horrible mess, so I broke down and snuck off to alphabetize it.  And came to the conclusion that we apparently don't have any customers with OCD at our store, or at least not ones who shop the Psychology section.  Becaaaaause.... if they did, they'd have fixed it by now!  I'm not all that severely OCD-- it's not even an official diagnosis-- but I just can't walk past a bookshelf which loooks like that without at least sticking all of one title in the same spot.

Now it's all pretty.  And if I get back Friday and it's a disaster again, I'll know we have a customer with some sort o more complicated mental quirk who is arranging things according to a pattern I don't understand.  I wouldn't be too surprised, actually.

Well, my book listing has gotten behind (as usual) and out of order (not so usual).  I'd better start with this one because it's overdue, and my energy levels this weekend have been appallingly elusive.  Cold nights (southern CA's version of winter) have finally arrived, and brought with them a sudden crash in my health, as usual.  So, er, assuming I can stay alert long enough to write this...

864) "A Mind Apart: Travels in a Neurodiverse World" by Susanne Antonetta

Do you have opinions on the increasingly common tendency for companies to include a personality questionaire as part of their job application? When a friend of mine first told me about the idea, I thought it was neat-- you know, make sure that everyone in a department has compatible personalities, make sure that someone wildly ambitious doesn't wind up in a go-nowhere position that they would quickly resign from, help people find the jobs to which their temperaments are best suited, etc....

Then a few years ago I mentioned the idea, off-hand, to a career counselor, who was shocked and told me that tests like that aren't legal-- that it counts as a form of discrimination. At first I thought she was over-reacting, but a recent application I filled out had questions that I found shocking and innappropriate (about feelings of insecurity, mood changes, personal worries)... and also led me to suspect that they were trying to weed out applicants with mood disorders. Which would count as discrimination under the ADA.



Ok, I didn't mean for this to turn into a full-length rant. Sorry!

from: http://feyandstrange.livejournal.com/803557.html


A spanking a day keeps the psychiatrist away?

While this is not what I'd call a good source - nobody seems to have the original article, let alone in English - all the pervs are hearing about this one anyway. Russian scientists have published a paper claiming that daily whippings stimulate endorphins in persons with severe depression and/or addictions, and that they have successfully used this method to help drug users get over an addiction (http://english.pravda.ru/science/health/26-03-2005/7950-whipping-0).

BDSM: The anti-drug? Scientifically this does make a certain amount of sense; endorphins have similar effects to antidepressants, which are known to help (assuming the body is capable of producing endorphins; I'm not entirely sure this would work on clinical depression of a long-term biological type, although it sounds ideal for situational).



fan-freakin-tastic, n'est-ce pas?

Yes, I'm back to my normal (sort of) sane (sort of) self. Sorry for the craziness of the past few days (actually, most of you missed all of that, except for a few brief ranting posts). Back to my monster list of books! Last month (oh gosh! I mean, in the last *two* months), I listened to:



** "Why Marriage? : the history shaping today’s debate over gay equality" {656} by George Chauncey. Excellent book written for teens, but a good all-around reference to the gay-rights issue.

** "Love’s Executioner and other Tales of Psychotherapy" {657} by Irvin D. Yalom. Fascinating set of case studies-- quirky, disturbing, inspirational, and shocking all at once... Not for the faint of heart... but seriously, this guy does for pyschology what Oliver Sacks (author of "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat") did for neurology.

-- "The Goodbye Summer" {658} by Crosby Bonsall. A kid's book about a girl who hates to let go of anything or anyone. I picked it up because the description made me think of me, with my vast collections of memorabilia, my fear of getting close to people because they will leave, my need to keep souvenirs from everything for fear of forgetting where I've been and what I've done... but other than the main premise, I didn't identify much with the main character. Still a good story, though.

** "The Year's Best Science Fiction and Fantasy for Teens" {659} edited by Jane Yolen and Patrick Nielsen Hayden. Great collection, and by no means limited to teen interest. Includes a classic story for comparison to the modern ones, which I think is a really good idea. Definitely a great book to start out on for teens just getting interested in the subject.

-- "Seeing Through Places: reflections on geography and identity" {660} by Mary Gordon. Picked this one up because one of her favorite places is Cape Cod, and I'm always homesick for books about the Cape. It was more a personal memoir, though, and about the memories you associate with different places. You know, I liked the book ok, but I honestly don't remember it all that well at the moment. It wasn't quite what I expected, but I definitely got some good things out of it anyways.

-- "Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to all Creation" {661} by Olivia Judson. A very humorous biology book, told as a series of advice letters to various species. Goes over some of the strangest sexual practices of various creatures-- from the Preying Mantis that eats its mate to hermaphroditic fish-- with occassional side-notes into how these things might apply to the human world. Very amusing.

** "Blood is Not Enough: 17 stories of vampirism" {662} edited by Ellen Datlow. A must-have collection of vampire tales ranging from the traditional to the very fringe (including stories by Harlan Ellison, Tanith Lee, and Fritz Leiber). Some cross-overs with "Blood Thirst: 100 Years of Vampire Fiction", which is my other favorite anthology on the subject.

-- "The Body Artist" {663} by Don DeLillo. A very surreal novel about a woman whose husband has just died... when she discovers a strange man in her house who doesn't know who he is, but can imitate things from other people's lives, including hers and her husband's. I picked it up in hopes of something more about body art in the sense of tattooing or henna, but what she does is more like performance art, and it's a fairly minor part of the story. However, if you're looking for a realtively well-written story that's far off the beaten path, you'd probably like this one.

** "Classic Science Fiction: the first golden age" {664} edited by Terry Carr. Very good collection of some of the earliest science fiction, back when it was really mostly about the possibilities that science was opening up to us-- some of them still possible, others proven unworksable but still intriguing to think about. Included are author bios and musings on the stories, on their origins and cultural context. Contains Robert Heinlein's classic "And He Built A Crooked House" about the hypercube dwelling with doors into the 4th dimension.

** "Bible Stories for Adults" {665} by James Morrow. A great collection of satirical, sarcastic, and just plain unusual stories. Some provide alternate viewpoints on classical Bible tales, while other poke fun and make you think about broader topics. I think I'll have to find more of his writing. Includes an alternate history tale about Abe Lincoln coming to the future to find slavery still in existence.

** "Lying on the Couch: a novel" {666} by Irvin D. Yalom. A fictional work by my new favorite psychologist writer. This is a wonderful tale that follows a group of analysts and their patients, passing the story from character to character as their lives intersect, interact, and form an intricate web of lies, passions, intigues, and psychological pratfalls. From the psychologist who has an unethical affair with his patient to the con artist who specializes in fooling psychologists, I could not put this one down.

** "First Crossing: stories about teen immigrants" {667} edited by Donald R. Gallo. A stunning collection of middle-school-to-late-teen short stories. Second languages, unfamiliar cultures, the battle between shame and pride in being different, the agony and hilarity of mistunderstood cultural mores-- all come together in a series of touching, witty, insightful stories by some of the best authors of juvenile literature today. This ought to be on school reading lists everywhere.

** "Stopping for a Spell: three fantasies" {668} by Diana Wynne Jones. You all know how I feel about DWJ, so no more need be said. Three almost-novella-length stories about mixing family and magic. Need I mention that hilarity ensues? I love the way she writes the stories as though the magic is the most normal thing.

** "Peace Crane" {669} by Sheila Hamanaka. A kid's book that I ought to find in print for the illustrations. In verse, an inner city girl ponders the story of Sadako's paper cranes and wonders about the possibility-- and price-- of peace for the children of her own generation.

** "The Consolations of Philosophy" {670} by Alain de Botton. In a lighter read than "Sophie's World", Botton gives brief histories of the works of several major philosophers and applies their reasoning to solving modern personal problems. Clears up a few common misconceptions and makes philosophy a little less abstruse. Plus, there's some pretty solid good advice.

-- "Waiting for Odysseus: a novel" {671} Clemence McLaren. An enjoyable teen novel tells the Odyssey from the viewpoints of various women along the way, including Circe and Athena. Penelope starts the tale with her meeting and betrothal to Odysseus long before the Trojan war, and the tale ends with Eurycleia's narrative of his final return home.



Phew! There are quite a few more, too, but I want to say more about them than I have energy to write at the moment. Must start keeping up with this more regularly! Either that, or stop reading so bloody much. I really do have far too much else to do... but... books are my drug, I admit it. It's just *so* addictive! And every day at the bookstore, new temptations await my drooling eyes...

Ok, shutting up now. Later, all!

{656-671}

Lately I've read:

** "The Man with a Shattered World" {621} by A. R. Luria. Another excellent case study... acutally, only about half the text is written by Luria. The remainder is the autobiographical account of the brain-damaged man trying to explain and understand his own situation. Very incredible account.

** "Firestorm" {622} by David Klass. Got an advance copy of this book through work. It's actually quite good action/adventure/fantasy/suspense-- light reading, though. Reminds me a lot of J. D. MacHale's "Pendragon" series, but slightly more adult (ie, more explicit as far as violence and accuracy of reporting teenage boy thoughts).

** "Life As We Knew It" {623} by Susan Beth Pfeffer. Another advance copy, that my boss recommended to me. I could not put this book down. Told in journal format, it starts a bit simply, with an unlikely natural disaster involving the moon getting knocked closer to the earth by an asteroid and causing all kinds of climate changes, etc... The science of it is sketchy, but you just get completely sucked into the story of this girl and her family as they struggle to survive in a completely changed world. Imagine the story of a family shipwrecked onto the shores of Armaggedon itself. It's that fascinating.



On tape:

** "Star Trek on the Brain: alien minds, human minds" {624} by Robert Sekuler, Randolph Blake. Explaining psychology through examples from Star Trek. A must-read for geeks of all ages.

** "The Real James Herriot: a memoir of my father" {625} by Jim Wight. If you loved James Herriot, it's more than worth reading this biography. The writing style is familiar enough to be loved instantly, but doesn't come across as an imitation. There are still humorous stories, but also the more complex truth and a deeper look at the man and the struggles behind the world-favorite vet stories.

-- "The Garments of Caean" {626} by Barrington J. Bayley. A classic-ish sci-fi tale of clothes that make the man... literally. Forget the Emperor's robes-- this suit really does have supernatural powers!

** "With the power of each breath: a disabled women’s anthology" {627} edited by Susan E. Browne, Debra Connors, and Nanci Stern. A selection of autobiographical pieces, both moving and informative, about women with disabilities. I was amazed at how many of them were lesbians-- I wonder if that's simply due to the group of obviously close friends who put this anthology together, or if there really is a higher percentage of lesbianism among disabled women (possibly because they might only be able to have an intimate relationship with someone who can understand them so closely? Or are men just less patient with disabled women than other women are?). Probably it has more to do with the sample group than an overal trend, though.

-- "Ciara's song" {628} by Andre Norton & Lyn McConchie. I really do need to read more of the sci-fi and fantasy classics. I don't consider myself an Andre Norton fan, but every time I actually bother to read one of her books, I enjoy it quite a lot. Same kind of problem I have with classics, though-- the writing is very serious and... well, not dense, but not light either. It's... more classical writing. Same reason I don't read authors like Tolkien and Robert Jordan, and only rarely read authors like Marion Zimmer Bradley and Raymond Feist-- they may be brilliant, and tell excellent stories, but there's little in them that I find... well, just plain entertaining. Little humor, I guess. And I like a bit of humor in my stories.

-- "Fierce pajamas: an anthology of humor writing from the New Yorker" {629} edited by David Remnick and Henry Finder. Why do I always read New Yorker humor? I find it snobby (which is saying a lot, for me!) and often not that funny. Granted, a lot of the stories were funny (a few Thurber pieces in particular), and the poems were all wonderful... but on the whole I didn't spend nearly enough time laughing.

** "The story of Little Babaji" {630} retold by Helen Bannerman. Another retelling of the story originally called "Little Black Sambo". I don't know why I'm so obsessed with this book. Maybe because I always considered it such a cute story as a child (we had an old copy of the original version), and was rather shocked (and heartbroken) when I found out how offensive African Americans consider it. Maybe I'm shocked at myself for not realizing how it could be taken that way, and equally shocked that black people don't realize that it wasn't meant that way at all (heck-- there are still kids books, and movies, that show "Red Indians" saying "How", but no one's pulling those off the shelves for being offensive-- everyone just accepts the stereotype as anachronistic ignorance). And I guess I'm not the only one who feels this way about the book, since I've seen a plethora of retellings lately, which simply change the names and how the faces are drawn, and otherwise leave the truly wonderful little tale exactly the way it is.

-- "A Dark Place in the Jungle" {631} by Linda Spalding. An unusual account of the author's efforts to track down Birute Galdikas, an eccentric scientist studying primates in the wild. This is no Jane Goodall account, folks-- the true story here is ugly, confusing, and yields no simple right answers about what we are doing or should be doing as far as chimp rehabilitation. Reminded me a bit of Sy Montgomery's books, but not as lyrical.

** "Careers for scholars & other deep thinkers" {632} by Blythe Camenson. Can you tell I'm worried about my future? Actually, this one did give me some good insights into the kinds of career skills I might want to start building. If nothing else, working at the library has taught me that a library is not guaranteed to be an intellectual atmosphere (in fact, one of my coworkers surprised me today by telling me that she always talks to me because she thinkgs I'm one of the deepest thinkers at the library-- not that I disagree, but I'm curious to know how she got that impression, since we work in different offices and I pretty much keep to myself)... and I need to work in a place that keeps my brain happy!

** "Matters Gray and White: a neurologist, his patients, and the mysteries of the brain" {633} by Russell Martin. A highly enjoyable book by a man who spent a year following a neurologist around and learning about his work and life. Not a lot of technical information, but some very interesting cases... and more importantly, a very good look into the human side of practicing neurology.

** "Brain Matters: stories of a neurologist and his patients" {634} by Bruce H. Dobkin. This one is told by the doctor himself, and in it you see more of the arrogance and standoffishness typical of people in his profession. Not to say that the doctor is uncaring or assholish-- just... a bit more removed from his patients. And a bit more aware of the not-fun side of having to care for neurology patients... which probably really does account for any standoffishness. My point being, I'm really not trying to criticize. While this account is more medical than the one listed above, both are nearly 20 years outdated at this point-- and it's quite enlightening to hear "MRI" refered to as "an exciting new technology"... also very exciting whenever they mention some medical mystery that I know we now know more about! Also a bit cautionary, since at the time of these writings, both kuru and cancer are said to be "most likely caused by a viral agent"... and as far as I know, those theories (and any conclusions that might be drawn from them) no longer hold.

** "Why We Hurt: the natural history of pain" {635} by Frank T. Vertosick. Yet another neurologist's tale... again, out of date, but no less insightful for all that. This doctor specializes in the treatment of chronic pain, and sheds a lot of light on some of the darkness of human suffering. This was one of those books that was hard to turn off (I can't say "put down", since it was on tape)... partly because it was well written, and partly for the same reason you can't turn off the news when they're showing a train wreck.

** "No House Calls: irreverent notes on the practice of medicine" {636} by Peter Gott. On the ligher side (at least ostensibly.. there's a lot of bitterness here, wrapped up in tidy sarcasm), Dr. Gott takes his collegues to task for arrogance, over-charging, over-scheduling, and just generally having lousy bedside manner. Some of the essays are simple rants, some are touching, and some contain helpful advice for doctors and patients (and lots for legislators and lawyers!) on how to make the practice of medicine a better experience for everyone. Many of the specific issues mentioned are out-of-date, but most of the general complaints still hold true.



Ok, I need a break now. I'm almost caught up...

And I think I'm going to go back to the beginning of my journal and start numbering the books I've read. It will be a monumental task, but I'm really curious to find out how many there are!

{621-636}

go to https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/measureyourattitudes.html
Make your brain hurt.
I got the link from www.hiddenbias.org (a great website on tolerance, btw)
It's some psych tests designed to tell you about your own biases. Heavy stuff. According to the tests, I:

Moderately prefer lighter skinned people to darker skinned people. I'm actually surprised by that quite a bit.

Strongly prefer Judaism to other religions. No big surprise there, though my preference is really more for Jews than Judaism.

Strongly prefer gays to straights-- again, no surprise there. I've just always been more comfortable around gay people; I think that may be partly due to the years I spent in theater, and partly because I just tend to prefer the company of other people who don't fit the norm-- I find they are less likely to judge me for being weird.

Make little to no implicit association between male/female and science/liberal arts. I think I may have weighted this one a little-- once you realize how the test works, it's not too hard to let your conscious influence your results a bit-- I think the test is most accurate if you "zone out" a little bit and let your subconscious take over. Anyways, I may just have such a strong attitude that women can and should "do science" that I pushed my results a bit in that direction. Or not, perhaps-- I think it also helped a lot that the liberal arts/humanities catagory often mentioned History, Latin, and Philosophy-- all of which, I realized, I implicitly assume to be mainly male interests, despite quite a bit of personal experience to the contrary!


I didn't have the guts to take the Disability Awareness test. It's the field I work in, and I have a genuine respect for it... but I have to be honest with myself and admit that part of the reason I focus so strongly on disability rights is that I often have to fight my own innate impatience with the differently-abled. Physical ability isn't so much of an issue for me, I think, but I tend to recoil a bit from the mentally and socially different. I admit that my attitudes are something I need to work on (to be fair to me, I don't think the issue is ablism, per se, but rather a frustration with the slowness, incompetence, and ignorance/stupidity of others, whatever the reason for it-- I just need to accept that some people really do have valid reasons, i.e. a disability beyond their control, for their ineptness)... but I'm not quite ready to find out just how heavily biased I am.


Tests like these do, of course, have a wide margin for error, simply because you can never quite be sure what you're measuring in anyone's thought process... Still, it's well worth checking out.

I have read:

* "Divided Minds" {525} by Caroline Spiro and Pamela Spiro Wagner. Fascinating memoir of mental illness told in two voices. The authors are twin sisters, both of whom studied medicine, and one of whom has schizophrenia. The story tells of their lives from both points of view. Very interesting book.

- "Small Steps" {already listed) by Louis Sachar. A sort-of sequel to the highly (and rightly) acclaimed "Holes". Not as humorous as the first book, and a little more about teen problems, but still written in Sachar's unmistakable style-- down to earth and outrageous at the same time... like Vonnegut for kids!

* "An Unquiet Mind" {526} by kay Redfield Jamison. Another memoir of mental illness-- this time by a doctor with severe bipolar disorder, which she addresses in a down-to-earth manner as a very real and serious problem. An intriguing book, and sobering, but also enjoyable to read.

* 2 more of MacHale's "Pendragon" novels-- they really are excellent sci-fi/action/adventure (a more modern version, perhaps, of the William Sleator books to which I was addicted-- ok, I still am), written from a very realistic teenage boy perspective. The books were "The Never War" and "The Reality Bug" {527,528}. Still have 2 or 3 to go.

- "The Moorchild" {529} by Eloise McGraw. Classic changeling story for children, set in somewhere resembling the UK... not as good as Monica Furlong's "Wise Child", of course... but perhaps I just say that because I'm a bit more sympathetic to the pagan side of the story than the Christian one, as a general rule. This book reminded me quite a bit of something else, but I can't quite tell what; it may simply be reminding me of elements from various books I've read.

- "Glass Slippers Give You Blisters" {530} by Mary Jane Auch. Adorable story about friendship.

- "Tales from the Bed: On Living, Dying, and Having it All" {531} by Jenifer Estees as told to Valerie Estees. A memoir of a woman with ALS (better known as Lou Gehrigh's disease, or Stephen Hawking's disease-- basically, your muscles all start to quit working, and it begins as a disabilty and ends up as a fatal problem). I picked the book up because my Aunt's best friend is dying of ALS. It was a pretty interesting memoir, though, very real and down to earth (even though I had little in common with the woman).

* "Sanctuary" {532} by Mercedes Lackey. Another of the excellent Dragon Jousters books (probably the end of the trilogy-- I mean, obviously if it is a trilogy this would be the last one-- I don't know but she tends to write in trilogies). Floatable Quote (from the character "Ari", as usual):
"Fear is a sword with no hilt"

* The latest Jasper Fforde novel, "Something Rotten" {533}, was, of course, just as enjoyable as the preceding books. I must recommend the series particularly to Terry Pratchett fans-- Fforde does to literature what Pratchett did to fantasy.

* "The Ivory and the Horn" {534} a collection of Newford short stories by Charles de Lint. I like him better every time I read him. He makes me feel creative. "Urban fantasy" was a badly needed genre, I think-- a combination of the dirty city streets we all know from life and the mystical world that we've never quite been able to stop believing in or craving.

"Migraine" by Oliver Sacks {listed already}. Another of his very interesting clinical works-- and who knew that migraines aren't just about headaches? I think this book clears up a lot of common misconceptions. Also has some good medical advice:
"Any such relation [without communication, and in which the patient blindly obeys the doctor without question or discussion], which degrades the patient while exalting the physician, is a travesty of authority, and essentially malign, leading inevitably to a regression and a breakdown of trust."
and
"One must work *with* one's biology, not against it; or one's biology will retaliate with a vengeance."
and even some quotes quoted in the book:
"healing... is not a science, but the intuitive art of wooing nature" - W. H. Auden
And
"whoever... sees in illness a vital expression of the organism, will no longer see it as an enemy. In the moment that I realize that the disease is a creation of the patient, it becomes for me the same sort of thing as his manner of walking, his mode of speech, his facial expression, the movements of his hands, the drawings he has made... or the way his thoughts go; a significant symbol of the powers that rule him, and theat I try to influence when I deem it right" -Groddeck (I hasten to reassure that by "creation of the patient", he does not mean that people make themselves ill, but that, especially in the case of something like migraine, the way the disease expresses itself is greatly influenced by the individual nature of the afflicted person. Also-- the whole book is not like this; all these quotes are from one chapter only).

Ok, taking a break now. Will try for more later.

{525-534}

Ah, my books, how I have neglected you! Let's see if I can rectify this a bit, shall we?

Listened to:

** "Deadly Feasts: Tracking the Secrets of a Terrifying New Plague" {480} by Richard Rhodes. Obviously, a history of Mad Cow and related prion diseases. A touch over-sensationalized, perhaps, but a very intriguing read nonetheless. Definitely a must-read for anyone who likes medical mysteries, true crime stories, that sort of thing. Good balance of scientific information with more storytelling-style exposition and history. Again, I loved it.

* An excellent follow-up to that is "The Trembling Mountain: a personal account of Kuru, Cannibals, and Mad Cow Disease" {481} by Robert Klitzman. He was one of the medical scientists who travelled to New Guinea to reasearch Kuru, the original human prion disease. Part medical log, part anthropology study, and part travel journal, this is another story that held my attention from start to finish.

** "The Man Who Tasted Shapes: A Bizarre Medical Mystrey Offers Revolutionary Insights into Emotions, Reasoning, and Consciousness" {482} by Richard Cytowick. On to another of my favorite medical mysteries, the neurological condition known as synaesthesia! This is a thoroughly fascinating study of those rare people whose physical senses comingle-- they "hear" colors, "see" sounds, and, yes, "taste shapes". Did I use the term "fascinating" yet? let me use it again: this book was fascinating. Plus, it provided me an excellent quote on my favorite topic:
"What makes science valid is its ability to recognize falsehood."

* "Science and the Paranormal: Probing the Existence of the Supernatural" {listed as 392, I think}, edited by George Abell and Barry Singer. Excellent! Truly excellent. This book gathers essays by various prominent scientists from Sagan to Asimov on topics ranging from UFOs to the Bermuda Triangle. Are they myths? Hoaxes? Real possibilities? The answers vary from subject to subject, but all are enlightening. I think I've used quotes from this book before, but I can't find any now (I actually listened to this book a few month back but just never got around to reviewing it yet). But it's definitely the sort of book that would make a perfect graduation gift for any young scientist, because it's a showcase of brief but solid scientific studies.

* "The Uses of Enchantment: the Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales" {483} by Bruno Bettelheim. Well, this was one *interesting* book! Who knew how kinky that scene in Cinderella where the Prince puts the slipper on her foot really was? And I'll never be able to watch a wedding ceremony with a straight face again, that's for sure. Great stuff, really it is. A good example of why the social sciences are really more Art than Science, but still, endlessly entertaining. I don't know if I really understand fairy tales much better now... but I sure understand a lot more about Freudians!

- "Time, Love, Memory: a great Biologist and his Quest for the Origins of Behavior" {484} by Jonathan Weiner. More biography than science. A good book, but not one that made a deep impression on me.

* "On Kissing: Travels in an Intimate Landscape" {485} by Adrianne Blue. Great fun. Lots of kinkage, and most of it literary in origin! Good stuff. Apparently I really ought to sit down and read the Kama Sutra one of these days-- I think I've underestimated it! Sex, philosophy, and poetry all rolled into one...

* "Dancing Naked in the Mind Field" {486} by Kary Mullis. The autobiography of an eccentric Nobel-prize-winning scientist... this book veers sharply from the brilliant to the ludicrous and back again. Amazing how someone who is so brilliant in one field can lack crucial information about other subjects and come across looking a bit like a nut (in my humble, non-Nobel-prize-winning opinion).

For instance, yes, the fact that he *could not track down a single study that actually showed HIV to be the cause of AIDS* is kinda scary... but he also ignores a lot of contributing information (for instance, he uses the example that, in my paraphrase, "if a person has the same immune deficiency symptoms as an AIDS patient but isn't HIV positive, they're just labelled as not having AIDS", but he doesn't mention either what diagnosis they might be given and why, or how often something like that actually happens. For instance, if such a case is very rare and most people with those symptoms *are* HIV+, that's a very different case from if such cases are frequent and you end up dividing a huge pile of patients with the same symptoms into the "AIDS" and "non-AIDS" groups based soley on HIV status, which is what he is implying.

I'm sorry for the long and convoluted argument there, but it needed to be made. There! I just out-thought a Nobel Laureate. So Hah!). Ok, so maybe I object slightly to the guy's arrogance, but he can be a bit paranoid. And believes he was abducted by a UFO. Despite the fact that such hallucinatory episodes are well-documented in people who have used a lot of LSD! Even the smartest among us forget to mistrust the evidence of their own senses... but if there truly is a cardinal law of science, it is that human senses are fallible! Still, it was an interesting book, from which I quote:

"There is a general place in your brain, I think, reserved for melancholy relationships past. It grows and prospers as life progresses, forcing you, finally, against your better judgement, to listen to Country music". So he is a smart guy after all :)

And no, I don't just listen to science stuff-- I'm just kinda lumping a lot of them together here. So let me add:

* "Like Sisters on the Home Front" {487} by Rita Garcia-Williams. A very good teen Af-Am chick novel, but... ok, so maybe I am a bit of a prude, and maybe I'm making unfair judgements about people stuck in the lower socio-economic stati (statuses?), but what the hell is it with poor/ignorant people and sex? I mean, ok, so maybe it's one of the few things they can enjoy in life, but *I don't really want to hear about it* that much... at least, not from a 15-year-old... or maybe it's just sleaziness I can't handle, because there is definitely a lot of erotic writing that I can enjoy... I don't know.
The amount of thinking about sex that this girl did kinda creeped me out. More, I guess, in the sense that she couldn't see any reason not to be a slut, and the only counter-argument provided by the book was a fairly religious one, which I can't quite stomach either. I'm sitting here with a little voice in my head screaming "what about education? What about getting a job? How do you expect to feed all these babies you want so badly to have? have you no pride? have you no ambition? have you no imagination? what the fuck gives?"
And again, this is probably an example of total uptightness on my part, but honestly... You know, we should just take people like this and neuter them, and just imagine how much good they could do for the world with all that attention and time and effort focused on something other than getting laid! Ok, I'll stop going all "1984" on you now... All ranting aside, it was a good book.

* "The Time Machine" {488} by H.G. Wells. I really need to read more classic sci-fi. I always like it when I do...



And just for fun before I leave you, here are the Manga series I've enjoyed:

Hana Kimi - {489} wonderful gender comedy about a girl who dresses as a boy to attend the same athletic school as her hero. Of course, her disguise makes things awfully difficult when the two start to have feelings for each other...

Deathnote - {490} creepy-ish mysterious story about a boy who gains the ability to make people drop dead, and suddenly he's at the top of Japan's "most wanted" list. And his father is head of the investigation... A little bit like Yu Yu Hakusho told from the viewpoint of the bad guys.

Lament of the Lamb - {491} excellent gothic story about a family cursed with a sickness that turns them to vampires. The only ones remaining are a brother and sister who grew up apart... and when they have only each other to depend on, things get pretty freaky.

W. Juliet - {492} another gender comedy, in the theater field this time. The main guy wants to become an actor-- his father's condition is that he pass as a girl until the end of high school to prove his dedication. Of course, he falls for the most tomboyish girl in the class... and touchingness and humor ensue.

Sensual Phrase - {493} ok, so it's erotic fluff and relationship drama between a simple schoolgirl and a rock star. Hell and a million fans may stand between them, but these two will do *anything* for each other... and with each other, for that matter...

Wild Act - {494} More eroti-fluff, I admit it. And what is it with the Japanese and the incest thing? The story is an odd combo of sexy and cute, of down-to-earth relationship stuff and off-the-wall plot. It's fun stuff.



OK, shutting up now. I've hardly made a dent (ok, it's a solid dent, but not much more). Be prepared for more of this.

{480-494}

Perhaps I should start by mentioning, briefly, the setting for this entry: far too little sleep last night (on account of an adorable baby cousin, so I'm not complaining, just observing that my brain is not running at anything like full capacity), for which I attempted to compensate by taking some No-Doz (caffeine tablets). Which, unfortunately, managed to make me feel spacey and, well, frankly, "stoned" is the best description I can give... rather than mentally alert, as I had hoped.

In this rather bemused and confused mental state, I have been toying with my new internet connection-- something I have lacked for more than half a year now, at least at home... and am rediscovering things like AIM and being able to spend actual time browsing Livejournals. I realized that my "schools" listing on my info page are, in fact, links... and when I click on them, I get a listing of other livejournalites from said schools. This provokes in me the response of:

"ooooh..." (more of an "oooh" as in the "ooo" that follows the "wh" of "whooo" than an "ooh" as in "oh", by the way-- see, this is what happens when you get linguistics majors stoned on caffeine)


Anyhoo, moving onwards! Ah, the awkwardness and nostalgia of seeing names, and even faces, from so many years ago, the bafflement of trying to link dates and cryptic screennames to people I once knew so well, trying to figure out who is familiar to me, and who, if any, of those people, might find me familiar (this is all high-school, by the way; my college page deserves a whole separate, if less emotionally charged, entry). And of course, the question of, among those who recognize me, whether they are intrigued, or horrified, or merely indifferent.

I was amused and relieved, flipping cursorily through these journals, to find that mine is among the less angst-laden. A bit surprised, as well, remembering what I was like in high school-- after all, it's hardly surprising that few of the people who knew me then would decline to speak to me ever again! Mind you, I was mildly, um, pschotic?, or at least excessively neurotic? in college as well, but by that time I was at least developing worthier qualities, ones that I hope have eclipsed, or at least made up for, some of the more extreme failings of my younger years. At any rate, my emotional instability in college brought me closer to a number of people there (people who are still close friends), because we shared our problems and bore them together, leading to less emotional fall-out and more emotional bonding.

Besides, these days I'm just too darn busy to have so many "issues". I'd like to appease them all, but there's quite a waiting list before they can even be considered. On that note, I need to go rescue a giant stack of books that just toppled over (not an uncommon occurrence in my apartment, I'm afraid), and then it's off to my kitchen to hunt down a snack... preferably something non-caffeinated this time...


Oh-- PS-- anyone who would like to get in touch with me is more than welcome to do so; I'm quite friendly nowadays and very rarely bite. And if we've never been friends before, well, I'm always happy to meet new ones.

Apparently, this is how I rate on the mental-things-wrong-with-me scales:

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html

hmm... I didn't think I'd rate that high on "histrionic" (*stamps foot* "Am NOT!"), though I know I'm above average. I'm kinda surprised I didn't rate higher on schizotypal, though, and probably "paranoid" or "obsessive-complsive" as well. For that matter, I think my "avoidant" score ought to be higher, too. And I *know* I used to rate higher on "borderline" than I do now... which is a good thing, I suppose. I mean, that I no longer rate as high :)

Oh, and this:
You are reserved, moody, unstructured, accommodating, and intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Washington DC, Portland/Salem, Richmond, New Orleans, Norfolk, Denver, Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Kansas City, St. Louis, New York City, Indianapolis, San Antonio and these international countries/regions Slovenia, Croatia, Caribbean, Czech Republic, Netherlands, Belgium, Guam, Ukraine, Argentina, Greece, Brazil, Israel, Wales, Finland, Germany, Poland

http://cityculture.org

Ah, the silliness of personality tests! I like inkblots best... I still remember fondly the look on my tester's face when, as an 11-year-old, I enthusiastically identified one of his inkblots as a "nudibranch". I took pity on the poor guy and explained that it's a type of sea slug, and wrote it down so he could look it up for himself. He obviously didn't quite believe me that there was such a thing. But honestly, that's *exactly* what the inkblot looked like...

Yikes-- falling behind on my reading diary here. Um...

-Been finishing up the "Charlie Bone" {326,7} books by Jenny Nimmo. Despite occassional obvious parallels to the Harry Potter books (many of them, I think, are due simply to the fact that English boarding schools probably all have a lot in common), the series has a great charm of its own, is aimed at a slightly younger audience, and has some very interesting uses of the idea of magical talents.

* Read the latest Terry Pratchett novel, "Thud!" {328}, a discworld adventure. Highly good stuff, and very amusing. Nice use of "technomancy" to satirize modern technology, as always (in this one, Sam Vimes gets stuck with a "gooseberry"-- a pocket imp who tends to speak up at very inopportune moments to remind him where he is supposed to be in 5 minutes). One also gets the feeling that Mr. Pratchett has spent a bit too much time lately having to read to a very young child. I don't know if there actually is a children's book called "Where is my Cow?", but the text sounds about right. And the footnote dig at "Winnie the Pooh" was just plain mean. On the down side, I now actually have to read "The Da Vinci Code," because I just *know* he was making fun of it, and now I'm curious, damnit!

* Finally getting around to Mercedes Lackey's "Joust" {329} series... her writing is very enjoyable as always (I'm particularly impressed because I read the short story and was intrigued to think how she could expand that material to an entire novel-- the answer is, of course, "very well"... this is Misty we're talking about here). To my surprise, though, I find the homage to Anne McCaffrey's dragonriders books a little... heavyhanded, I dare say. A lot of the descriptions, while very well done, seem almost... borrowed. Or maybe it's just because their writing styles are so similar to begin with. After all, they've collaborated on occassion, and I suspect they've also traded ideas more often than that.

* Also reading "Lolita" {330}, finally. I love Nabakov, perv though he is. You know who's really perverted, though, is the reviewer on the cover of the book who called it "the only convincing love story of our century". Shame on you-- because
1) it's more a story of obsession than love (the difference being, when you actually love someone, you want to make them happy, even if it means they can't be with you) and
2) the most convincing love story of the twentieth century is Tom Robbins' "Still Life with Woodpecker". So there.

* And finally got around to reading "Keeping you a Secret" {331} by Julie Anne Peters. Beautiful teen lesbian love story, somewhat reminiscent of Nancy Garden's "Annie on my Mind". Loved it!

* Also finally went to the library and found V. S. Ramachandran's book "Phantoms in the Brain" {332}. See, pretty much every other text I've read that comes anywhere near the field of neuroscience always features quotes of and references to Ramachandran's work, so I've just been *itching* to find out what this guy is all about. And while I haven't read much of it yet-- lets just say that by page 2 of the preface I already wanted to start taking notes, and by page 3 I was laughing out loud (with the book, not at it). Move over Mr. Feynman; I have a new love.

Tired now. More later.

{326-332}

but briefly, as I just got off work, and am tired. I wanted to mention that I also read a very enjoyable book:

* "Mind Wide Open: Your Brain and the Neuroscience of Everyday Life" {321} by Steven Johnson. Very fun stuff-- like an entire book of Stephen Hall's essay "Journey to the Center of My Mind" (essay featured in "Best American Science Writing 2000"). Did you know that chickens prefer the music of Pink Flloyd? Or that "neurofeedback" (like bio-feedback, only you're hooked up to an EEG) can be used to help people learn to meditate, focus, or enter "the zone". There's a nice parallel here to the info from "Why God Won't Go Away"-- I'd be very curious to know if people can "neurofeedback" themselves into transcendental states... or possibly the "healing trances" that, the more I read, are seeming less and less like wishful holistic thinking and more like solid science... so much to think about. Oh, why didn't I stick with pre-med as a college major? Oh, right, because I fell in love with linguistics, didn't want to take three years of boring intro courses before getting to the good stuff, and oh yeah, I *hate* writing lab reports. Ah well. Fun stuff nonetheless.

Equally intruiging, if less fun, was listening to:

* "Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperment" {322} by Kay R. Jamison. A fascinating, if sobering, look into the link between mental illness and creativity, and the fine line that many artists and writers walk between devastating madness and usable genius. To sum it up briefly: On the one hand, curing their mental illness can have the effect of lessening creative inspirations. On the other hand, letting mental illness go unchecked can cause such severe problems that the artist in question is incapacitated-- and frequently commits suicide or dies in an institution. Creepy. Still, a very good read, with a good mix of biography, overview of the works of such artists, psychology and brain science, and solid research tying it all together. Plus, I know someone who really really needs to read this book (particularly the final chapters about the above-mentionned paradox for artists suffering mental illness).... but I'm not quite sure how to bring up the subject. After all, people with mood disorders can have very scary and unpredicatable reactions... But enough about that.

Now listening to Richard Restak's:

- "Brainscapes: An Introduction to What Neuroscience Has Learned About the Structure, Function, and Abilities of the Brain" {323}. So far, so good, but I should be reading it in print so I can make better notes-- I'm really thinkig about trying to find a neuroscience class or two that I can take at a local college. Wish me luck!

* Also listened to "Great Ghost Stories" {324} selected by Barry Moser. Yes, it is one of the better "creepy" collections I've read, with a good mix of classical and modern horror stories. A definite recommendation for Halloween.

* As far as reading, I'm working on Susanna Clarke's "Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell" {325}. More historical than most of the stuff I read, it is nonethless a very solid fantasy novel, that makes one think of what Charles de Lint might have written if he'd lived two hundred years ago, or possibly what H. G. Wells might have written if he'd given up sci-fi in favor of more celtic-mythology-based fantasy. Very good. And also very, very long.

That's all, folks!

{321-325}

Ok, I need to get my mind off current events for the moment (spent wednesday evening protesting in front of the White House re Bush's pridefully idiotic refusal to accept Cuba's help with the Katarina Crisis... and had to spend the whole time listening to some tightass corporate whiteguy raving about how Librerals and Homosexuals are destroying America... the less said on that topic, the better. Also, on a totally random observation, the real worst part about protesting is the marching in a circle for hours on end-- you get dizzy! but anyhoo...).... so.... let's see if I can get through some of the stuff I've listened to over the past several weeks:

Kids stuff:

- "A Symphony of Whales" {306} by Steve Schuch. Cute

* "The Treasury of Saints and Martyrs" {307} by Margaret Mulvihill. Surprisingly fascinating, particularly considering my admittedly hostile views of Christianity. Brief bios in good historical context; the Saints and Martyrs are introduced as interesting people as well as religious icons. Tempted to even look for the print version-- I hear the illustrations are impressive.

* "Gypsy Rizka" {308} by Lloyd Alexander. What else to say? Yet another of Alexander's fantastic, touching, whimsically humorous tales about a good-hearted but mischievous character.

- "Because of Winn-Dixie" {309} by Kate Dicamillo. Wonderful dog story, and I don't even particularly like dogs.

- "Moose Tales" {310} by Nancy Van Laan. Adorable easy-reader animal stories, reminiscent of Lobel's "Frog and Toad" stories.

- "Just a Few Words, Mr. Lincoln" {311} by Jean Fritz. Another easy reader, and a good retelling of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address speech.

- "George Washington's Breakfast" {312} by Jean Fritz. Another cute and informative foray into American history for little kids.

-"Gus and Grandpa and the Two Wheeled Bike" {313} by Claudia Mills. Easy reader. Good family story.

- "Unbroken" {314} by Jessie Haas. Good historical fiction, touchingly real (and complex) family story. Not quite at the level of Karen Hesse or Karen Cushman, but still a good read.

* "Dancer" {315} by Lorri Hewitt. Solid YA story about an African American girl whose life's passion is ballet... and her struggle to decide whether she can actually make a career in a field where she faces such disadvantages.

* "The Wings of Merlin" {316}, by T.A. Barron. Last in the "Lost Years of Merlin" series, which is definitely worth picking up. The pacing isn't the best, but the creative storytelling makes up for it.

* "The Ghost in the Tokaido Inn" {317} by Dortothy and Thomas Hoobler. Wonderful Japanese mystery story, apparently loosely based on something historical. Great detective story, though-- sort of like "The Chinese Bell Murders" for a younger generation. And in Japan instead of China. But you know what I mean-- that same sort of Eastern approach to morality and mystery-solving.


The Serious stuff:

- "The Year's Best Science Fiction vol 16" {318} edited by Gardner Dozois. Yes, I'm several years behind. Very solid collection, though it seemed that a few of the stories were variations on the same theme... I wonder, is that indicative of Dozois's taste or of a current trend in sci-fi writing? Still, very enjoyable.

- "Ingenious Pursuits: Building the Scientific Revolution" {319} by Lisa Jardine. Had trouble following this one-- too much history and not enough science for my taste. I mean, I like scientific biographies ("The Fly in the Cathedral" was wonderful), but I just got lost in this one. Maybe it would have been better if I was reading in print, so I could check back to dates and so on, but listening to it I just kept forgetting where we were and about whom we were talking. Rather frustrating, really.


And...
the grand finale...

** "Why God Won't Go Away: Brain Science and the Biology of Belief" {320} by Andrew Newberg et al. Brilliant. Simply brilliant. A little too dumbed-down for the popular reader-- I would have prefered a little more neurological detail-- but a fascinating and thought-provoking read nonetheless.
It also fits in the final piece of a puzzle that I have been struggling with for a long time in my head-- if, as I believe, there is no God or similar manifestation of supernatural/spiritual world, etc-- why on earth, why is it, that a scientific person like myself has experienced what, without a doubt, counts as a "religious" experience? Because I have experienced such things, on many occassions, both in the context of spiritual (though rarely formal "religious") settings, and in the context of holistic healing situations.
For a long time I have been trying to come up with an explanation for these experiences. The emotional aspect is easily explained away as self-delusion and so on, but I have also noticed marked physical changes (ie, stuff like faith healing actually visibly working) in both myself and others, that I have examined too closely to believe that it is just wishful thinking on my part. And yet, up until now, I have had to assume that that was the only explanation. Not so, argues this book. The focus here is on religious or mystical experiences... but the researchers have documented that these experiences do, in fact, consist of distinctly measurable neurological events -- neurological changes that do, in fact, cause extremely specific, predictable, and measurable changes in a person's physiological state.
Ah ha! The light goes on.... so, yes, it's all in your head, but then again, everything really is. So, no, it isn't all in my imagination. I know similar work has been done on meditative states and how they can enhance biofeedback-type stuff (you know, people consciously lowering their own blood pressure and so forth), but this pulls together a lot of studies and really hammers out the details of what is happening in such cases. It's really, really intruiging stuff, too. And yet I have so many more questions, too. And the book leaves the big question open-ended: Do humans from every time and place experience such similar mystical states (religious trance, visions, etc) because there really is something out there that we're all picking up on, or do we all *feel* like we're picking up on something spiritual simply because the circuitry for mystical experience is hardwired into our brains? My vote is for the second explanation, but the entire thing bears serious pondering.

And ponder I shall. And read more of the same, as much as I can find. And then I shall ponder some more. I think this book gets my "favorite nonfiction of the year" award. Ok, maybe not the entire year... but then, I couldn't pick just one favorite from the whole year. But seriously, this one is worth it. I plan to buy a copy as soon as I can. Two copies, actually, because nightengalesknd needs one too.

Ok, shutting up now. (really good book).

{306-320}

Ok--here's a little more catching up on what I've been reading this past month, since I haven't had much net access lately.

* "Shrimp" {273}, by Rachel Cohn. Sequel to "Gingerbread," of course. What can I say except, when it comes to realistic teen fiction, Cohn rocks my world. Right up there with Julie Anne Peters and so on.

* "Blowing My Cover: My life as a CIA SPy and other Misadventures" {274} by Lindsay Moran. Hilarious, and somewhat disturbing, tell-all story of one woman's experiences as a CIA operative. That is the correct term by the way, for real-life "Alias"-type-people. CIA "agents" are actually the foreign nationals from whom the "operatives" get their info. Fun bit of trivia. Another fun bit trivia is that, in Bulgaria, the expletive-phrase-of-choice is, apparently, "up your mother's pussy!" (only in Bulgarian, obviously). Just thought you should know.

Also listened to:

- "It's all Elementary: From Atoms to the Quantum World" {275} by Necia Apfel. Good into book-- a little too basic for me, but I have a student at the library who will love it.

* "The Big Book for Peace" {276} edited by Ann Durell and Marilyn Sachs. About halfway through I realized that the reason it sounded so familiar was that I must have had a copy as a young child. I remember reading it as a kid and not understanding a lot of it. It was very enjoyable, and nostalgia-making (adj?), to read it again after so many years.

* "The Power of Babel," {277} by John McWhorter. Wonderful. Made me ache to be back at college, listening to Ron or Carmen lecture on linguistics, though. I often forget just how much I love looking at languages from a social science standpoint. So much fun!

- "I, Amber Brown" {278} by Paula Danziger. Tres cute. Wish more of her books for YAs were still in circulation, though. I mean, I must have read "Can You Sue Your Parents for Malpractice?" and "The Cat Ate My Gymsuit" half a hundred times during junior high.

* "Fearful Symmetry: The Search for Beauty in Modern Physics" {279} by A. Zee (somebody's mother had a sense of humor). Fascinating book, even if some of the details of classifying particles did go over my head a bit. Should probably pick up a copy in print-- being able to see the charts and tables would probably help a lot. Still, enjoyed it immensely.

- "Phineas Gage: A Gruesome but True Story" {280} by John Fleishman. The YA version of the story, it nonetheless was both interesting and informative.

* "Best American Science Writing 2000" {281} edited by James Gleick and Jesse Cohen. Do I have to even tell you how much I enjoyed it? Got some great quotes from Steven Weinberg, too, which I will type up later on a less annoying keyboard.

* "The Feeling of What Happens: Body & Emotion in the Making of Consciousness" {282} by Antonio Damasio. Very thought-provoking. Good mix of philosophy and neuroscience. insanexstudent-- you took Cog Sci with me-- you'd love this book (and the James McWhorter one!)

* "Annie on my Mind" {283} by Nancy Garden. Good YA lesbian fiction. Very heartfult, very touching.

* "Mr. Midshipman Hornblower" {284} by C. S. Forester. Despite being historical fiction, military fiction, naval fiction, and a classic (all things that, I'm afraid, tend to make me a bit leary of a book), I enjoyed it quite a lot. And now have a better idea what to recommend to the student who loves this series (same boy who's so into science-- at age 10, no less! Our kids do tend to be an odd bunch, here at Talking Books).

* "An Anthropologist on Mars" {285} by Oliver Sacks. What can I say? I'm becoming a Sacks addict. Don't know if it's his great writing, the subject matter (Iadore abnormal psych, especially from the neuro viewpoint), or his uniquely emotional understanding of his patients and subjects... but, I just love it. Every bit of it. Wish I could meet the guy.

* Now just finishing the second Garth Nix "Keys" book, "Grim Tuesday" {286}. As good as the first.

Ok. Wrists hurt now. More later. Love you all!

{273-286}